Who's The Daddy: Walter is one very spoilt dog, nothing is too much trouble

Walter, our saluki/whippet, had only been out with his fellow speed merchants for a couple of minutes, hammering around the edge of a field at 40mph like they’re on the Wall of Death or something, when the dog whisperer who looks after him when we go away and takes him out for a regular burn, said he pulled up.

Now anyone who has ever owned one of these professional hypochondriacs knows they feel bumps that don’t even register with dogs with a lot more natural padding. But they can often be resurrected from what initially appears a fatal collision with a lump of cheese or beef - the stinkier the better.

Not this time. And he has previous. Three years ago he managed to impale a grass seed between two toes of his left paw, bouncing around our flowerbeds while trying to jump over a 6ft fence that separated him from next door’s two kittens.

This is more serious and painful than it sounds. Grass seeds are barbed and almost impossible to get out, unless you’re a vet. A week in plaster and a £700-plus insurance claim later, he was right as rain. Although the injury knocked him sick as his left paw swelled to twice its normal size overnight.

This time, it appeared that he’d trodden on something at full pelt - a thorn, a bee, who knows? But whatever it was looked like it went straight in his front right pad and came straight out again. Not much consolation to Walter who was still hobbling around the next morning.So a call to the vet at 9.23am, and by 11am he was there, getting his paw felt and temperature taken. One course of Noroclav, Loxicom and £114 later, he was driven home under instructions to put his feet up and do little or no exercise. Easier said than done.

They actively enjoy lounging around on sofas all day, but that’s only after a lung-bursting sprint - or zoomies as they’re known in sighthound circles. The boss got in the way of one of these five years ago and suffered a serious knee injury when Walter’s buddy crashed into it while chasing him around flat out. That’s another thing, they rarely look where they’re going.

So after five days of not doing much it was back to the vet for a three-minute check-up (£48), who said nothing’s broken, there’s no ligament damage and to build his walks back up gradually.

This month, our dog has more spent on him than a sugar baby. Boarding fees at dog heaven when me and the boss went to the Canaries a few weeks ago, vet bills, pet insurance and dog food that you’d find in the Crufts Supreme Champion’s bowl that wouldn’t leave you with much change from £600.

Spoilt? Yeah, spoilt rotten. The sun shines out of his behind, and he knows it. In fact he uses it as a torch when the security light’s out in the winter when he goes out for a poo. I got his teeth scaled and polished just before Christmas, he’s looked like he’s just got back from a week in Turkey ever since.

He’s one of these dogs who is an absolute ray of sunshine so long as he gets exactly what he wants - running around in the fresh air, lazing in the sunshine and feeding him Pedigree Dentastix on demand. It’s not much to ask, is it?

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