Don't work with children or animals without an encylopedia and a bucketful of antihistamine, particularly on the radio
They say never work with children or animals but whoever '˜they' are - they forgot to advise that if you do - don't forget the anti-histamine and the encyclopedia.
The two latest editions of the Lie-in with Nicola radio show on Chorley FM (9am -12 Sundays) have been of the more chaotic variety.
Still fairly new to this radio lark and lacking the advantages of bigger stations including a producer and somebody else to answer the door or the phone, I am learning the hard way how to juggle technical, with creative, with journalism, with guests and reading out the weather.
Not to mention trying not to need a wee for three hours.
If that isn’t tough enough I have decided to invite all manner of guests in the studio.
They have all been fantastic, even 12-year-old William the book-worm who was incredibly confident but asked me about 12,000 technical questions I was entirely unable to answer.
Indeed it was William, not I, who noticed one of the guest microphones was faded down and he also shouted up when the station appeared to have gone off air.
Fortunately on this occasion nothing had crashed but a heart attack was had.
Following my learning experience with William I decided children were fine so animals would be great.
Not one to do things by halves, I invited in You Tube star, Crufts official blogger and children’s book star Monty the Dogg - who just happened to be a Newfoundland and the size of a baby elephant.
Very practical in the studio broom cupboard.
Monty and his dad Mark were amazing guests, but after being greeted with a giant slobber and furry hug by Monty, my allergies kicked in and my face and eyes swelled up and my arms came out in a rash.
I spent the entire interview scratching while looking increasingly like a bloated red Shrek and battling the soporific effects of a hasty handful of anti-histamine in a very hot studio.
Monty, meanwhile, was quite happy in the ante-room, snoozing and not allergic to me at all - indeed offering me more hair-shredding hugs.
It was indeed, if anything , official confirmation that I have a face for radio.